Bats, bees, babies in trees

I love my job. I’m very happy with my work and find what I do fulfilling and stimulating, and I’m lucky enough to love the people I work with. I just needed to make this all clear before I begin just so we’re all on the same page, ok?

As a teacher, "working outside".

As a teacher, “working outside”.

I’ve always wanted to work outside. I’ve had a few jobs and none of them have involved working outside at all. The only one that came close was when I was a teacher and I took every opportunity I could to teach my classes outside, or I used to spend break outside. There’s something about being outside that makes what you’re doing not feel like work. Even now when I pop out at lunch to go to a shop or if I leave the office to go to a launch, being outside makes e feel like I’m actually on leave. So what would be better than having a job where you constantly feel like you’re not at work?

I’ve put together a little list of jobs I could potentially do if I were to leave my current one (just to be clear: I’m NOT planning on going anywhere and I’m VERY happy here, ok?):


  • Owl keeper – I’d like to look after owls. I think they’re very pretty and majestic and mysterious all at the same time. I can picture myself wearing a cape and carrying a wand and looking after Snowy Owls, making sure they’re fed and safe. I admit that my picture is ever so slightly influenced by a Harry Potter book I once read, but never-the-less…


  • Bat keeper – While we’re on the subject of looking after animals, I think I might also like to try my hand at looking after bats. I think they’re very cute and remind me of flying puppies. I’d like to get a whole row of bat boxes in trees in my garden so lots of bats could move in. I do realise it probably wouldn’t be feasible for me to keep owls and bats together – one of the species wouldn’t fare too well.


  • Bee keeper – I do not think bees are cute or that they look like flying mammals of any kind. I do however like the romantic image of a lady bee keeper kitted out in her bee-keeping suit and mesh pith helmet and collecting her own honey. It’s very Victorian. Except I wouldn’t wear an ankle-length dress.


  • Professional pinner – Admittedly this one is a stretch of even my imagination, but since this list is make believe, let me have my fun. I would like to be paid to sit in the garden, preferably next to a swimming pool, and ‘work’ on Pinterest. I want someone to pay me to look at pretty pictures and organise them onto virtual pin boards.
  • Tree planter – I love trees. They’re beautiful and represent something mystical. And I’ve always loved climbing them. So I bought the most amazing present for my baby: a tree in a bag from! Grow a tree is a starter pack that lets you to grow a tree from a seed in a bag. The idea is to grow a tree from a seed to plant in a community area and to come back 20 years later for a hug and a hello. I’m going to grow a tree in a bag and plant it for Holly’s first birthday in the garden of our new house so Holly and the tree can grow up together!
  • Shoe tester – Some shoes are not suitable to wear on different surfaces. For example, bright red patent leather high heels are very difficult to walk in on cobblestone roads. This I only know from experience. If I had the job of trying out different shoes on different surfaces, I would be able to pass on more of these impressive tips.

If anyone knows of anyone looking to fill such positions, I am NOT interested as I’m very happy in my current job. However, I would like to know if any of these positions actually exist. I’m just asking for friend. Also, we found some real women doing real jobs in the great outdoors: a game ranger, a fauna ecology scientist and a fire ecologist. Read about them in our June issue now.

Great outdoors

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