Girls who are boys who like boys to be girls

I’m a keen observer of human nature and I’m aware others are too. So my mantra is and has been for a long time, ‘There’s always someone in the back of the crowd watching’. When you’re driving in your car, stuck in peak-hour traffic and not moving, often you’re The Person in the Back of Crowd, and usually at the worst possible time. Like when the guy behind you (yes ‘sir’ we CAN see you in the rear-view mirror) decides it’s time to take advantage of this dead time and do an excavation of his big hairy nostrils. Or, when you’re in the bathroom at work, washing your hands, and someone steps out of a stall and thinks they can just sneak out of the bathroom without washing their hands, carrying a roll of pilfered toilet paper, and no one will notice.

466031519There are many such instances as these and we all get the chance to experience them (and then some of us write about them too). Something else I’ve noticed is that boys and girls are different. Not in the ‘I have a pee-pee and you have a hoo-hoo’ kind of way, but rather in the way we approach the world. I’ve been researching these differences for a little while now and have also asked for input from my colleagues and this is what I’ve come up with:

  • When the dinner has been eaten and the rich mac ‘n four cheeses is but a fading memory, it’s time clear the kitchen and pack the dishwasher. The girl will ask the boy to please do the kitchen since she made dinner. These are their responses:
Boy Girl
I’ll do it now. I just want to see if Jeremy Clarkson reaches Edinburgh on one tank of petrol in his floating tractor.Later… You didn’t have to tidy the kitchen. I said I’d do it! I can’t relax and enjoy Jeremy’s motoring exploits if the kitchen is untidy. I’ll just do it myself.Later… When I said I wanted it done, I meant now!
Ridiculous argument over béchamel sauce ensues and explodes into fight about the hole in the hosepipe. Doors slam… Grown ups sulk.
  • The toilet has been fixed and no longer sounds like Marge Simpson’s sister when you flush. The door handle had been screwed on straight and the garden shed has been assembled. Ahh… domestic Sunday bliss. No… wait! There’re monkey wrenches, hydraulic torque wrenches and a sod buster (what the whaaaat?) lying all over the granite counter in the kitchen where girl prepares her sundried tomato pesto.
Boy Girl
I’m finished all the DIY. I fixed the blady blah, schmackety schmack thingy bobb, and the… as well as the… Uhm no… You’ll be finished when all your man-tools are packed away in the new man shed.
Ridiculous argument about girl being ungrateful for boy’s hard work ensues and escalates into an argument about that one time in 1999 when boy didn’t introduce girl to his boss at the Christmas function.
  • Girls put smiley faces in their emails, text messages and tweets ☺. Including work emails.  Boys don’t.
Boy Girl
You don’t send an email to a supplier with a smiley face! Of course you do – otherwise how will they know you’re being friendly and chatty?
No argument ensues. Smiley faces don’t warrant a fight.
  • Girls will tell each other absolutely everything about themselves within three minutes of having met. I once sat at a lunch with other members of the media and by the time our drinks arrived I knew that the lady across from had struggled to conceive because her husband’s swimmers had low ambition, the lady next to me had had liposuction on her thighs two months before and the woman on the other side’s sister was getting divorced from her husband of six weeks.
Boy Girl
We don’t share anything private with each other. We don’t even tell each other our reasons for supporting a particular rugby team. But you have to tell each other stuff! How else will you know whether you like the person or not.
Childish argument, along the lines of girls are silly and boys are stupid, ensues.

158693780I honestly don’t believe there are any solutions to the problem of dealing with the world in such different ways. Girls will always tell each other stuff – we have no boundaries. We’ll always use smiley faces J even if it seems unprofessional and we’ll always want the kitchen cleaned right after supper. And boys will never change. Grab a copy of the February issue of Essentials and read about Michelle Priestly who has five little boys under the age of 10! She knows all about the differences between boys and girls…

4 thoughts on “Girls who are boys who like boys to be girls

  1. Emmi Nicholl

    I think this is your best blog yet! Just last night Trev went to mammoth effort to clean the kitchen and I had to be very restrained and kind when I told him that emptying lunch boxes is also part of the kitchen cleaning duty

  2. simonewb Post author

    Yay! Thanks so much, Emmi. I didn’t mention one thing: like when the Mister has cleaned the kitchen and packed the dishwasher but left all the food bits in the drain and you’re like ‘Hey! What about all the food gunk in the drain, Mister?’ And he’s like, ‘I’m not finished yet, but he’s already in bed…’.


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